How to Live Dangerously with Squirrels and Coconut Milk

Pumpkin Soup. It will look better after the pumpkin cooks and I puree it. Promise.
Today I am making pumpkin soup. I go to the pantry for coconut milk. I have three cans: Expires 2016, Expires 2012, Expires ?? (and I’m pretty sure ?? is the oldest).
I take all three back into the kitchen where Bones is cutting up pumpkin because this is a job he deems too dangerous for me (something about knives and danger to myself and others….phhtt).
Me: When we were growing up there were no expiration dates on cans. If it wasn’t bulging out on the top you ate it.
(And I’m pretty sure this is the logic that kept 2012 and ?? in the pantry so far).
Bones: True
Me: Do you suppose we can use this 2012?
Bones: I don’t know.
Me: Maybe I should throw it out.
Bones: Okay.
Me: It seems wrong to throw it out if it’s not bad.
Bones: Do what you want. Just stop talking about it.
Me: I’m not going to be able to throw it out without opening it.
Bones: I’m going to cut you.

Coconut Milk: Expiration 2012
…
Me: It looks fine. Color is perfect It smells fine. Are you afraid to eat it?
Bones: No.
Me: I’m using it.
So…I’m posting this because we live out in the country and someone should look for our bodies if you don’t hear from us again.
Also, a squirrel has taken up residence in our HVAC closet. We’ve set a trap. Bones is going to reach his hand in and grab it if it doesn’t get itself into that trap by the time he gets home tomorrow night.
He was going to do it in the morning, but I told him he should save anything that might incur a trip the the ER until after work.
That’s enough danger for me today.
If you are inclined to add a little danger to your own life, you should join me in ALEXA BOURNE’S 2014 DANGER CHALLENGE. Most people are choosing things other than expired coconut milk and squirrel wrangling.
Hope to see you there!

Here’s the squirrel!